Game I can't win

we're timing each other
moving
smacking backs of clocks
matching each other's movements
thinking up strategies to check the opponent
mind games meticuliously implemented
so that moves must be carefully planned
till the players are guided by caluculating hands


i chose to build walls in defense of what's most precious to me
and in this romantic game of love your Knights prance L's
till loser across the board is all I see
nervous, I planned to make a come back with my pawns
to seduce you to thinking to move where i want

Like all higher beings

you see right through my fronts


so you take your casualties

as your rooks steal across

I fend for myself in a checkered box

he said

"no mercy in war and love"
and in this kingdowm of black and white
no grey arose


White castles
you stole
in a haste
black bishops
knelt
and prayed

and in my king's square dance

I asked him am I your pawn



or your queen?






"I can't play this game you make"

stop before I say something stupid

Unread.

Dear Love,

That dances behind the eyes of memory.In the moment of quiet solitude could we think the strings that once bound words of lovers become thin threads of what once was a deeper connection. The joined hearts of two, the separation, the journey to move on, and the strength to embrace what was once lost. So here in this backseat, here in these headphones, staring out through blank eyes are you....who once looked at me....with adoring eyes....here you are saved so dearly in the back of my head along with the memories that are as carefully selected as a file in a filing cabinet. So slowly it creeps...a smile across my face.

Happy to smile at what we once had. Smile at what I have. As it fades a fond memory to look back upon, and a friendship to hold on tightly to.


and like that

this letter and many letters are never sent.

more than anyone

just as much as anyone.


I want to feel.


New school year, and a new outlook on life. Let go.....of all the things that held me back before.

I might just be ready for something of grand proportions.


Who knows..

No Wonder

I can't think right now. Too many things have happened since the last time we talked. All I know is I really hope things will work out for the both of us. I just want to see you happy.

Truth is


I am beyond exhaustion.

I think people can see it.

I want to sleep but can't. I am suffering from some sort of anxiety that kills me.
I just keep replaying this one thought. I am sure no one will understand.


I just....

well

hate this lonely business.

I like sleeping over the significant other's house
I like finding my niche.
I like breathing in his skin.
I like putting my lips on his skin...no kissing just feeling the warmth on my lips.

I hate sleeping with my lupmy pillow.
I hate looking for the "cool spot"
I hate it when my sister snores
I hate how chapped my lips get when I sleep



I just remember what a wise person once said

"you could become each other's biggest mistake, but we take the risk anyway...all we really want to see are the benefits."

The problem is...as humans we're gonna see what we want to see....and hear what we want to hear too.


end transmission

You Ain't Artsier Than Me

whaaattt

I just got reminded...

where the funky did this CD go??